He had a big question about “Destiny” that was determined by God, but he must not have been able to speak his mind to anyone. He would have felt big pressure from the expectations of his father, the king that wanted him to carry the future of Sakya. The father king who saw such his son’s appearance tried to regain his son’s vigor by making him experience paradise in this world. In his youth, he married a woman named Yasodhara and soon she delivered a baby named Rahula.
If he had an ordinary person, he would have accepted his fate and enjoyed limited life, but he refused to be swept away because he believed in gods, and he sought for the right way to live seriously. In the first place, he was wondering why the gods who created human beings admitted to killing people, there is a way to overcome the suffering; he set out on a journey of seeking as his soul dictated.
Reminiscence which is related to his ordination is written in a sutra.
“The world was insubstantial all around: Staring[below]
From hell, all around the world was insubstantial, destitute of any permanent substance; all the directions were in turmoil: all the directions were shaken by impermanence. Desiring an abode for myself: desiring shelter for myself; I did not see [any place] unoccupied: I did not see any place uninhabited by old age and so forth.”
A place where one belongs —–
It was a pure world without contradiction. He imagined that the morale of vassals in Kapila Castle was lowered because he abandoned the country and his father king received scorn and criticism from Kosala and allies. He also imagined sorrow of his wife left behind enough. However, he wanted to question absurdity to the gods more than that.